you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
