You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
