This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
