you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
not ubering you a puppy
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
