Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
