Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
