dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
