Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
