Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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