Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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