so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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