We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
