Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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