Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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