so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
