he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You need Xanax blowdarts
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
