Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
