i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
