You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
