One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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