I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
