This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
