any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
