The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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