do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
