the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We left an ass print on the piano.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
