Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
