he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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