NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
