...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
