Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
