I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
