This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
