omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
