In the future we'll all be gay
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
