1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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