The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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