Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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