He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Randomize
