He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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