Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
