I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
