i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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