I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
