the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My penis needs a shock collar
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
