Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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