just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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