The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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