I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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