Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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