I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
