I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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